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Well done Anne, A rating of 4 is wonderful ... to lessen even further you may need to tap on the various aspects individually e.g. the actual incident that made you first frightened, the feel of a hairy spider on you, the look of the legs from a distance ... whatever it is that freaks you out, the more comprehensively you tap on different aspects, as I understand it the more likely you are for the fear to go. Hope this make sense! Maybe try doing the metta after the tapping rather than before or at a different time. (Also the guy on the video I interviewed does sessions with people on their phobias to get rid of them, I can give you his details if you want - I have personally been to him and found he got great results with me. I found it fast tracked things for me, and I took longer on my own.)
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Thanks for all the comments Melissa, Simon and Ciprian,
One of the things I am interested in is noticing how much anger or hatred I my have in my mind in associated with killing, it surprises me how much animosity, for instance, I can have towards a small tiny mosquito. This is a different way of looking at the precept I think - it is a training in mindfulness as well as compassion, isn't that what it's about? If I do find myself for some obscure reason wanting to kill something I have been known to apologise first so at least my mind is less disturbed and I am not killing from hate, but as i write this I can see how ridiculous this sounds. What do you think?Comment
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Well, I got that wrong Rachel - not being mindful, or having one of those dreaded senior moments! Unfortunately I did not mean to say "I would not rate myself on much less than a 4" re the tapping and trying to rid myself of the fear of large hairy spiders. I actually meant to say 6, 4 less than 10, so not quite so wonderful! I don't seem to have progressed much beyond that either. Will keep up the good work and hopefully improve.
I cannot actually pinpoint any actual incident that first produced my fear, but I do know that my mother was the same, and we did get quite a lot of what were referred to by my parents as tarantulas in the house. I have never had one on me, but one of my biggest fears was always, and still is, that one day one might jump off the wall on to me. I don't think I can focus on that side of things. The silly part is, my father had absolutely no fear, and would come to the rescue and pick these creatures up in his bare hands and take them outside to dispose of, until one bit him and after that he used his hankerchief! You would think that I would be OK, having watched my father all those years, not at all phased by any creepy crawly, whatever the size.
Thank you Rachel, I will perhaps ask you about the guy on the video some time. I am not sure about seeing anyone and will, for the moment, probably keep giving it a go on my own and see what occurs over time. I certainly don't expect anything to happen over night.Comment
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It is a tough one Melissa. I think a lot of like-minded people find it hard to come to terms with our throw-away society, me being one of many. The excesses of the more affluent, developed nations like Australia have become pretty obcene, and I'm sure we would all be a lot happier living much simpler lives than we live today. Thank goodness for our wonderful, wise monks, meditation, the dharma and all our dharma friends. Thank goodness for Buddhism. We have a lot to be thankful for.Comment
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These fears can have extremely deep roots (when you think about it from the perspective of kamma/rebirth, it's actually very natural that we'd have "irrational" fears. For example a strong fear of spiders could easily come from being paralyzed and eaten by one in a recent existence as a creepy-crawly. In that case there's nothing at all irrational about the fear, except it's time and place has long since passed.Originally posted by Anne Raeburn View Post
I would say not to worry about why you're afraid. It's often a big waste of time to try to find the cause of fear. It's enough to know you developed that fear for a reason - but you don't need it anymore. Fear and anger is actually trying to help us stay safe, help protect us from harm. It can be worthwhile saying to your fear "Thank you so much for caring for me and trying to protect me, but now I'd like to try something new". If you can really make peace with fear like this, mentally giving it a big hug and saying so sorry for not understanding it, then that can be very powerful.Comment
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Yes i agree (although many psychologists and psychotherapists would disagree and base their work around why). That is why the tapping and meditation have helped me because there is no need to know why just to let go.Originally posted by Blake Walsh View Post
Beautiful words thanks so much Blake. I use Ajahn Brahm's words "The door of my heart is open to you just as you are" and find this really helpful along with metta practice. However, your words add another dimension. Thank you.Originally posted by Blake Walsh View Post
PS Say hello to my friend Annie / Anālayā Samaneri please out at Santi!Comment
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The theory is wonderful - the practical realities of living with neighbours and local laws makes the precept complicated in real life.
For example, here are some questions to ponder about "vermin".
1. Let's say we have mice, not local native mice but ones introduced from overseas and considered vermin. Do we have to take a social responsibility not to be allowing vermin?
2. What if the local laws stipulate you must not allow vermin and you find a rat on your property? Are we not legally obliged to kill the rat?
3. If we caught mice and released them and they go to the neighbour's house is this not morally wrong and unfair on the neighbours?
4. If mice are killed and put outside so birds such as magpies have them as food - is it any better that we helped other creatures in the process?
5. If the mice are killed but without poisons so there is no danger to other creatures - is this better than using poisons?
So many possible aspects to consider if you find mice in your house.Comment
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My conclusion that makes it all simple is that the essential part is the quality of intention. Some times, in practice, things are not well cut in white ones, and black ones. Like the Buddha said. There is white kamma with white results, black with black results, mixed with mixed results and neither white nor black with neither white nor black - the later being the kamma of an arahat. Since we don't fall in the later category, but we try to be good Buddhists we try our best to avoid black kamma. Although most of it is a mixed kamma. My humble opinion.
Best wishesComment
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Rachel, it's certainly not easy to deal with situations when we have to do things which go against our moral code. This is part of the reason why people become Monks and Nuns, so they can live blamelessly and at ease, without many of these moral dilemmas.
Bhante Sujato says that in Thailand the Thai Buddhists proved extremely resistant to Christian teachings, because the Christians taught that killing animals was okay. The Thais killed animals but they knew it was against the precepts, and they knew it was wrong, and they just couldn't accept a teaching that it wasn't morally wrong to kill animals - however comforting it may have been for them to accept such a teaching.
Perhaps this is one possible approach to take, do it if you're forced to, but know it's wrong - rather than trying to rationalize or justify it. Feel the sting of your actions. This can provide additional incentive to keep working towards a better long term solution.Comment
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Thank you so much Blake for your concern and suggestions. I have to say that the thought of a previous life as a creepy-crawly and being eaten by a large spider sends shivers down my back, and would certainly not have thought of that as a reason for my fear. I am doing my best to put this fear behind me and trying to take your advice re attempting to make peace with it. I am also using the tapping, which I find useful, but cannot as yet congratulate myself!Comment
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I live in rural NSW and there are many creepy crawlies that are a threat. Venomous spiders, angry "dangerously venomous" snakes, paralysis ticks, mozzies that spread Ross river, dangy fever etc.
Then of course you have your just 'bloody' annoying critters - sandflies, ants (green ants, black and tiny brown ants) its the brown ants that are the most annoying. The get every where in the thousands they are after moisture and food. They will eat a whole into a new loaf of bread over night and make their home in it, they will drown by the hundreds in the honey jar because the lid was cross threaded and not on properly. At the beginning of summer you try all the safe- do no harm ways to live with them, after 3 -4 months of summer you are tired of having to throw out large amounts of food because the ants have moved into it (did I mention they really love butter), every surface crawling, table tops, chairs floors where some speck may have been dropped and gone un-noticed for a few minutes. By the way talc works well, ants don't like to walk through it.
So I end up using the surface spray, the mouse traps and yes even kill the King Brown snake that took up residents in my yard and objected to me walking out the front gate.
Sorry about the rant but I find it very hard to adhere to the precept of do-no harm, but I am aware that it is wrong and do not kill things mindlessly and hope that their next life is a happier and safer one.Comment
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It sounds like you live in very difficult surroundings Trish, much love to you in coping with them. It is probably easier for an urban dweller in the city and who works in a smart tower block to deal with such issues than it is for someone in rural Australia to cope, because they do not have anywhere near the amount of "invasions" or dangerous creatures. We also have "dangerously venomous" snakes, mozzies that spread Ross river, ticks, big sergeant ants through to tiny brown sugar ants, termites which eat our homes, and the like and they certainly provide challenges in keeping the precepts especially when they are in our homes, and we don't like them.
May I make a couple of suggestions please?
Is there anything you can do to help reduce the ants and other creatures from coming into your home? (There have been several ideas on this forum if you read the earlier posts about ways to do this.) This seems the best place to start rather than trying lots of ways to harmlessly remove them.
If you practice sending loving kindness to these creatures it may help lessen the irritation in your mind towards them. Then even if they invade you won't feel so disturbed by them.
Much metta
Rachel.Comment
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Hi Rachel;
I was having a bad day that day. I had just had to through away more than half the food in my pantry that day due to the little ants and it was a long time till payday.
This time of year there is not much that will work, you just learn to brush most of them off and try not to look to hard. It is hot and dry and they come in out of the heat. All you have to do is know that everyone in the district is suffering from the same problem and we all sympathize together. The town is apparently built on a huge ants nest and they will disappear once the weather cools down and don't come back until mid summer next year. That's how you tell when it's about to get really hot - the ants turn up.
I have also tried all the aromatherpay and essential oil's and I agree that they work well for cockroaches, and bugs wants more they make your home smell so much nicer.Comment
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Ants get into everything don't they Trish. We find they adore honey jars, fruit remains, and anything sticky and they surround them and cover them. We end up keeping all sorts of things in the fridge as they don't seem to get in there. The other thing we have done (as we have lots of ants too but probably not as many as you!) is to follow their ant lines to find out where they are coming in. My husband has spent ages on his hands and knees watching them, and then he seals up any crack or weeny tiny hole where they are coming in. It has reduced them.
Its a bit hard when you live on an ants nest though!
What would happen if you left some food for them outside the house - would this mean you got even more ants or that they would be less likely to come in?
Much metta to you.Comment
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Not Killing small beings ...
I find that when I radiate loving kindness (metta), towards whatever insects like cockcroaches, mosquitoes, flies that I encounter ... I tend to let go my pre-conditioned intentions & reactions.
Thus, with metta in my heart, I invite them to partake in whatever they have come for. Remembering Ajahn Brahm's wise words, of offering a miniscule drop of blood to a mozzy, I offered mine and you will be amazed by how the mozzy responds!!!
No kidding, the polite mozzy pricks its probosis most gently into my skin, without giving me the itchy antidote, then sucks in my "dana" blood in the most delicate manner, then with perfect etiquitte the mozzy flies off with just enough "food" leaving my skin without any marks or itch!!!
As for cockcroaches, (whom I detested before), I would tell them that they will find food in the public bin across the road. As they are nocturnal insects, it is easy to catch them gently then drop them off.
I presume when one is mindful with metta in the heart, one will never harm any beings at all.
"May all beings find love in their hearts and peace in their minds"Comment
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