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Staying with it, or not - how to decide?

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  • Claralynn Nunamaker
    started a topic Staying with it, or not - how to decide?

    Staying with it, or not - how to decide?

    Looking for input about how to determine if a challenging situation is something to stay with or better to remove myself from it?

    Ideally, any situation can be construed as an opportunity for practice. But what does one consider when deciding, 'yes I am learning so I will stay with it' versus 'this is causing me too much distress and I need to disengage' ?

    I am trying to decide whether to withdraw from associates (they are not Buddhists) who hold a lot of anger, and have creative interpretations of what is moral. When I object to what I consider immoral actions I am met with anger and demands. It is very uncomfortable and exhausting to be around.

    Ideas?

  • James Taeza
    replied
    Dear Claralynn,

    Aloha! Welcome to the community! It's a pleasure to meet you.

    During one of her talks, Ajahn Vayama (Bhikkhuni), a disciple of posed this situation. The discple had friends who went fishing as their past time. In the past, before taking the precepts, the disciple went along with them and enjoyed their company and activity. But now the disciple is mindfully keeping the precepts and was in a dilemma as the friends often offer to come fishing with them. The disciple asked for guidance on what should be done.

    Ajahn Vayama's response was that in certain situations it is better to distance one's self from others when it doesn't lead to any benefit at all. She also said that distancing one's self doesn't mean shutting them off completely from one's life but just providing a buffer from negative situations. One can still care for and appreciate their friendship but not to engage in certain situations/activities that can lead to further suffering.

    May this be of benefit to you and be a support to your path (which will ultimately lead to Nibbana)

    Anjali ca metta,
    Russ

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