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Anxiety - what to do with it?

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  • Anxiety - what to do with it?

    Hello,
    I am hoping you can give me some feedback on a Buddhist way to dispel anxiety and insecurity...
    I have a pattern of my mind that stops me from really enjoying the most from life from time to time and also prevents me being able to put my best love into my life and dealings with other people.

    I get anxious about various things. Upon meditation and reflection I found that all of my previous anxieties about a range of matters have been triggered by the same thing – the thought or feeling that I won’t be ‘good enough’ to handle whatever the future brings, and perhaps this stems from doubts about whether I am good enough in the present moment. This seems to be the cause of all of my fearful thoughts. Now that I have seen where it comes from, I can see the problem clearly and I have a strong aversion to it – I’d like to get rid of it permanently and am annoyed that the pattern still happens. I don’t want to go through my whole life worrying about not being good enough. When I’m not anxious I feel I am able to live better as I want to, I feel more spiritual and more kind and loving to others, so I feel it is obstacle on my path to the kind spiritual practice I want to be growing. When I am anxious I also see that it leads to other negative thought patterns, such as blaming other people for causing my anxiety or trying to make myself feel better by comparing myself to others and judging “well at least I’m better than them… ” etc which in the long run doesn’t make me feel better about myself as a person, it just falsely builds my ego and then makes me feel bad for being a judgemental, critical person. How can I ease this insecurity and feel at ease in myself and for other people? I want to live my love with the energy of love and calmness, not of fear.

  • #2
    Dear Emma,

    There is already quite a bit of information on this forum on how to deal with anxiety. I would suggest you have look at this first and if you then want to discuss the issue further you are of course most welcome to do so. You may find these articles interesting: Manage Anxiety and Panic with Meditation, Tapping Away the Fear of Spiders, and Anxiety Panic and the "Letting Go" button.

    I hope you find something useful.

    With metta.

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    • #3
      Hi emma

      Ive suffered from anxiety all my life they called it shyness when i was young.
      Your anxiety wil not hamper you on the path. It will make you even more compassionate as you progress. And the dharma will give you the wisdom not to push your anxiety away or blame someone else.
      But instead you will accept it as part of you. You will say to ur self well Im anxious today and im going to look after myself and be compasionate, gentle and hold the hand of my nervous feelings.
      Knowing all the time that they will pass.
      I get stiff legs Emma when Im out in public, I look like ive moved my bowels and not made it to the toilet.

      Mark xx

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mark Wilson View Post
        Hi emma

        Ive suffered from anxiety all my life they called it shyness when i was young.
        Your anxiety wil not hamper you on the path. It will make you even more compassionate as you progress. And the dharma will give you the wisdom not to push your anxiety away or blame someone else.
        But instead you will accept it as part of you. You will say to ur self well Im anxious today and im going to look after myself and be compasionate, gentle and hold the hand of my nervous feelings.
        Knowing all the time that they will pass.
        I get stiff legs Emma when Im out in public, I look like ive moved my bowels and not made it to the toilet.

        Mark xx
        Dear Emma,

        Mark's fase of acceptance, befriending and not fighting your fear is right. But when you follow the Dhamma, do daily meditations, you eventually will be completely without fear, the next fase.
        Only the gradual Buddhist path and Faith will be your tools ...

        Take my word on it !

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        • #5
          He is quite right. Im on the path but keep falling off into th nettles.
          I still have fear of people drunk on stella, nettles and bumping into kris on a dark night.......

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          • #6
            Thanks Ajahn Bramali, Mark and Kris. I find I can be patient... except with the things that annoy me most! haha It's annoying when you think you've dealt with something, then it comes back. I'll be more accepting and see how I go.

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            • #7
              Hi Emma, I felt like I was reading something I would post! I totally understand about anxiety. I struggle with feelings of not being good enough, not being able to cope. It is so hard. I am not sure where it comes from.

              The best thing would be to look into some good books and keep meditating. I read and re-read the same books and they help a lot. I struggle with working because of these same issues. I am always afraid of messing up.

              Take care and know that you are not alone.

              Kendra

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