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  • Meditation experience

    Venerable sir,

    I woke up in the morning and i saw that it was raining outside so i decided to go meditate on the balcony. I'm not very experienced in meditation and i've been trying to figure it out on my own because i found that "recommendation" not to read too much about it as a nice challenge. Long story short during my meditation i realize that i'm always hearing my own voice inside my head, always talking to myself, always interpreting , always trying to form words out of what i think.

    So i try to silence that voice, try to meditate without it. The response was surprising, i could no longer identify myself with what i started hearing next out of my inside voice. It sounded like a spoiled child rebelling, started making animal noises, sirens, laughing and many more child like sounds. I found it quite amusing as i even let out a laugh. In my amazement i got too excited and i stopped meditating.

    Any insight on what i should try next?

    With metta,
    Daniel

  • #2
    Dear Daniel,

    The thinking mind is one of the greatest challenges in meditation. When you say that the mind was “like a spoiled child rebelling”, you are probably hitting the nail on the head. The problem is that when you “try to silence that voice” you are using force on the mind, trying to move it in a direction it does not want to go. Generally speaking using force in meditation does not work, because it always leads to rebellion. If it does not lead to rebellion, it eventually tires the mind, which is also counterproductive. Meditation is about relaxing, being at ease, recharging the mind, finding that source of inner energy. To achieve this one needs to let go of the will and allow things to slow down all by themselves. This really is one of the most important principles for success in meditation.

    However, many people find it difficult to simply let go and be patient enough to allow the mind to brighten up in accordance with its own nature. Sometimes the mind has not been developed long enough in virtuous conduct for the brightness to appear when the will is removed. In these cases – and think this is probably the vast majority of cases – you need a meditation with a bit of activity, which also helps you purify your mind. The ideal candidate is metta meditation. As you practice metta, you will normally find that the mind starts to brighten up, particularly if you keep it up over long period of time, months and years. Eventually you will find that the brightness and joy is such that mindfulness becomes quite natural. You no longer need to use force to silence the mind, because the present moment is naturally pleasant. I think most people would do really well by practicing more metta, and thereby improving their mindfulness and then their samādhi. It says in the suttas that a person who attains liberation of mind through metta, easily attains samādhi.

    With metta.

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    • #3
      Dear Daniel, try this guided meditation and intro talk on meditation - i think it will help

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