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Marriage without parental consent

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  • Marriage without parental consent

    Dear Bhante,

    I would like to ask you a short question regarding the third precept.
    There are lists of women that one should not engage a sexual relationship with.

    One of them is having sexual intercourse with those under the protection of parents, if the parents disapprove the sexual relationship, then it's breaking the third precept, it's clear.

    But what if mature independent adults who are no longer under the protection of parents, get married without parental consent (parents disapprove the relationship), does the sexual activity in this kind of marriage count as breaking the third precept?

    I'm hoping you can share your thoughts. I find this precept is a bit tricky to understand. Thanks in advance.

    Kind regards,
    Steve
    Last edited by Steve Tanu; 1st-March-2018, 08:09 PM.

  • #2
    Dear Steve,

    Thank you for asking the question. It is good that you are conscientious and scrupulous about keeping the third precept. Usually one breaks this precept when getting into an extra-marital relationship, but it is commended that you are looking at the many other ways that this precept is held.

    The thing about cultivating morality is not only 'not doing' but also, looking at it from a positive angle. So, we not only aim to 'not do this-or-that' but also, we want to create good-will and harmony in our relationships. For example, are my actions genuine and caring? Am I coming out of loving-kindness - wishing for the well-being of all involved? Because if you feel un-easy, then the relationship is on rocky ground.

    Although at first, things might be alright, as the years go by (which hopefully is the case), you will eventually have to deal with the wider family. So all this needs to be considered!

    Hope that this little advice is of benefit to you!

    Kind regards,
    Ven Upekkha

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