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thought process on break ups

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  • thought process on break ups

    Hello Friends.

    I am struggling with my thought process on breaking up with grilfriends and ex-wife.
    I realize that I have been thinking about the break up and my life after the break up all wrong. I have been having the same problem with break ups my entire life. This is one area I have not been able to make progress.

    I realized I dont know what the correct way to think is.

    I need some advice on what I should be telling myself concerning break ups. What I should be focusing on during meditation.
    I dont know where to begin with self talk and meditation.

    Thank you
    Brian

  • #2
    Dear Brian,

    It seems to me that the problem you are facing is a result of attachment. If you are the kind who gets very attached, you will experience a lot of pain when relationships end. In other words, the problem is not the break-up as such, but how you enter and remain in your relationships.

    When you next enter a relationship remind yourself that it is only temporary; at most it will last until you die. The more clearly you keep this in mind, the greater is your ability to keep a sense of perspective and avoid getting too attached. In the long run, your spiritual practice should enable you to keep a greater degree of independence in your relationships. The inner happiness and ease that spiritual practice brings makes one less dependent on externals, such as relationships, for one's sense of well-being. In short, spiritual practice makes you more independent.

    Of course, as long as you enter relationships, there will always be some pain when they end. This is just the nature of attachment. All husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend relationships involve some degree of attachment.

    With metta.

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