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    I am very happily married and together my husband and I have a daughter. I love spending time with them but I struggle to understand how to balance living every moment as if it were the last and letting my loved ones do their own thing.

    I do have attachment issues as I want to be with them all the time but they need their own time as well.

    How do I balance this?

  • #2
    Dear Kendra and everyone,

    I have already tried to answer this question on a previous thread. Does anyone else have anything they would like to share?

    With metta.

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    • #3
      Kendra,

      What is the "attachment problem"? It is good to be as clear about this as possible, what is the problem with attachment? How does it manifest, what does it feel like?

      If there is one single piece of advice I could give for dealing with attachment, it is this: Learn to give things time. If you're worried or anxious, just wait a while before acting. I'm being precise here, I'm referring to worry/anxiety the emotion (it causes the forehead to wrinkle). When you notice you're "under the influence" of that emotion, just give things time to unfold without you - note this is exactly what worry doesn't want you to do, worry wants you to go and fix everything right away. But you can just say to yourself "I'll give it a week, if it still seems like a problem, maybe I'll do something then". This is a practical way of letting go of that which actually needs to be let go of.

      With metta,
      Nandiya.

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      • #4
        I do not fully understand the problem but I wish to give you my advice as well. As far as I can tell people enjoy more or less personal space, everyone is different, some people like to hug and stay close to someone and some others need more space (this is very important, you should not misjudge a persons "space" needs with the lack of affection or care).

        Since this is about loved ones, use that love (that attachment) and try to turn it into Metta. Think about and observe you loved ones, spend some time trying to figure out just how much "attachment" they need and try your best to syncronize with their needs, even if you are very different from someone you love, you effort will surely be reciprocated (thus getting closer to common ground). Not only that, but the time you spend when syncronized with another person is a lot more valuable than the time you spent together if someone is unconfortable.

        Hope this helps. Metta.
        Daniel

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        • #5
          I accidentally reposted thinking that my first thread was not published

          I like the idea of letting things unfold when it comes to emotions. Emotions just don't seem to be reliable, not necessarily based on reality. I am the type of person who can't sit still for any length of time before I notice that something needs to be put away/cleaned etc.

          I really appreciate your response. I will definitely start putting your suggestions into practice.

          Take care and sorry for the repost,

          Kendra

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